


In Loving Memory

by ggrassy_ddistortion



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Spoilers for The Magnus Archives Season 3, Spoilers for the magnus archives season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:34:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28609911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ggrassy_ddistortion/pseuds/ggrassy_ddistortion
Summary: “I’m sorry Sasha , I’m so sorry .”His empty room mocked him in empty silence . He would not get the forgiveness he longed for , at least not tonight . But in the morning , after a sleepless night, after the never ending tears had collected inside of him and formed the burning solid ball of rage , then he would set his sights on revenge .Tim Stoker angst because he really deserved better and I miss him ;-;;;;;
Relationships: Sasha James/Tim Stoker
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	In Loving Memory

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time uploading any of my work to AO3 so if you have any suggestions or improvements pls let me know :) , also I wrote this set in winter although I'm not too sure of what season it would've been in the canonical timeline hehe.

After the confrontation with Elias, Tim had spent the rest of the day at his desk - hunched over staring fixedly at the wall , his mind full of a thousand rushing thoughts without really thinking about anything . He didn’t work ; he didn’t want to, it felt wrong like he was obeying whatever dark ancient force that had claimed him . But he didn’t leave either . The normal Tim would have walked straight out after the fight with Elias - the Tim he was before the Jane Prentiss attack , before wandering for weeks within endless corridors, before finding Jergen Leitner’s body , before Sasha’s disappearance . 

Sasha . He thought as he sat in the tube. It was growing dark when he had left the Institute at 4 , he followed the same monotonous steps he took everyday and now sat among strangers as the train took him home . Being around strangers unnerved him more now that he understood the true fate his brother had endured at the hands of the Other. Knowing that the world was ruled by these dread powers almost made him feel as paranoid and erratic as Jon . Tim shivered , the hairs on the back of his neck standing up a little . He would not be like Jon. He hated Jon , and if that was the only concrete thing that kept him from going off the rails - then so be it . 

Tim opted to climb the stairs up to his flat instead of taking the lift (he hadn’t been fond of taking lifts after his and Martin’s encounter with the Distortion) . He reached his door and fumbled for his keys before trying to get them in the lock . It was only after he had dropped them a few times did he notice how badly he was shaking - had he been doing that the whole day ? Eventually he managed to get the keys in and turn them firmly . As soon as he closed the door and saw his familiar apartment he broke . Slamming his head back on the door he slid to the ground , the shakes now racking his entire body . He groaned and closed his eyes tightly , his lump in his throat stinging with every heavy breath he tried to take .

He couldn’t say how long he sat there , his body tense though no tears covered his cheeks as he thought they would . Eventually he managed to stand and move shakily to the bathroom . He turned the shower on and glanced in the mirror as he changed . The light circular scars that covered his skin suddenly stood out intensely against his skin making him pause and stare at them a little longer . They were a physical reminder of the Institute he so hated but couldn’t leave - he traced his finger at the ones that lined his jaw and followed a line down his neck . He sighed turning away and hopped into the shower turning the water far too hot as he tried to wash the feeling of ownership that he couldn’t shake since he left the institute . It didn’t work of course ; whatever dark power the eye held over him could not simply be washed away with hot water , and of course the reddening of his skin only made the scars more visible . 

He shut the water off angrily and trudged to his room leaving a trail of water as he didn’t bother to dry himself . In the summer at this time his room would be full of a pleasant orange glow - the shadow from his blinds casting thick amber lines on the opposite wall . But today was not summer and instead his room was dark and seemingly drenched in grey light . He flicked the light on which did little to brighten his mood , as well as the perpetually dark parts of his room . He went to close his blinds when he noticed the small framed photo on the window sill - it was of him and Sasha about 6 months ago , she was smiling brightly, her arms flung around his shoulder . Tim shuddered and grabbed the thing , his knuckles white . That wasn’t Sasha , that was the THING that had replaced her . He threw it to the ground and kicked it under his bed for good measure as he cursed at himself for ever believing it was her . Tim dropped to his bed , pulling his knees up to his chest , the feeling of vulnerability and guilt washing over him . He was familiar to guilt - the same emotion had haunted him since his brother’s death , had he done enough? He should have stopped Danny from going , he should have known better . The same way he should have noticed Sasha had changed , he should have seen the grotesque thing that had replaced his friend . He croaked slightly as he finally felt the hot tears start to fall . He had been jealous for fucks sake . Too caught up in his jealousy of “Sasha's” new boyfriend to realise the friend he loved was gone , dead , as he joked and flirted with her fucking murderer . Why was it always the stranger ? They had taken so much of him in the form of his brother , and now Sasha ? He moved onto his back desperately trying to catch his breath as his chest tightened further , it made a pathetic sound - the choking helpless moans that filled him more with the crushing shame and anger that had weighed on him for years. 

“I’m sorry Sasha , I’m so sorry .”  
His empty room mocked him in empty silence . He would not get the forgiveness he longed for , at least not tonight . But in the morning , after a sleepless night, after the never ending tears had collected inside of him and formed the burning solid ball of rage , then he would set his sights on revenge . He was going to tear the stranger apart , hurt them , kill them just as mercilessly as they had done to his brother , Sasha , and countless others before them . And then maybe he would kill Elias , just for good measure .


End file.
